Fully Present

Being fully present is difficult.

Especially when I have other things on my mind.

The future is more interesting, the past more informative. It seems.

My present will soon become my past. A past I may regret.

The future can’t be more important than the present. The future crafted in my head never arrives. Ever.

How can something that will never come take precedence over what is here now?

It shouldn’t. It does and the present becomes less.

The only thing I will ever have is jeopardized.

Is being present the most difficult thing to attain? Eh. The lotto seems more out of reach.

Rephrase: Being present is something that takes willful practice.

It’s easy to practice the lottery. If I win it’s clear what will happen. The reward is extrinsic. It takes little will to practice the lottery.

The reward for being present is unclear. What will happen? I have a very foggy, almost faith-like idea that it will be very… *very*… beneficial.

I need all the will I have. Often I need *more* will then I have. I fail.

The future in my head changes.

The past becomes a regret. ‘I wish I had…’

The present suffers.

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