Relationships are easy. Just follow the formulas.
Each give you boxes to put yourself, and others in.
Which box do I use when I have the right to be a douche?
What happens when I am holding up my end of the friendship but the other person isn’t?
I think that means I can be a douche. Within reason.
I was a douche. I said something in anger. Because I’ve been upset for a long time. I’ve been angry for less time.
What’s the situation?
The same one you’re going through. The same one we all go through. Insert your details.
How did I handle it?
I said I was sorry.
I meant it. I shouldn’t have emailed the words. They weren’t overly mean, but they had a bite to them.
Two lessons I should know. One. Email will be misunderstood. Two. Don’t be a douche. It’s like wetting the bed(I know, I wet the bed until second grade). It feels warm and cozy at first. You are filled with a sense of comfort. But soon it turns cold and lonely, and you can’t ignore what you’ve done. And you can’t sleep over at your friend’s house any more.
Apology was the right answer.
My anger is righteous. But still, I love them. I want to work out the differences. If we can’t do that, fine. But I’m not going to have it end on my douche move.
When do I end it? My hope is I don’t. Friendship weathers the storm. It never ends.
It only changes.
I reach a new understanding, bringing us closer together or farther apart. But the spark of a friend never dies. Embers will glow while there is breath in my body. Even for the most tortured friendships.
Which box fits these tortured friendships?
The tattered one.