The Hardest Part Of Self Growth

Momma always said “Be careful who you make friends with.” As I grow older I find more and more Mom is a wise woman. If you are to grow as a person you have to be careful of the company you keep.

There is a story I can use to illustrate this.

If you put a crab in a bucket it will crawl out no problem. However, when you put more than one crab in the same bucket, they can’t get out. While one crab is trying to get out, so are all the rest. So they end up pulling each other down.

Now let me correct one thing. You see the crabs are all trying to get out. The crabs in your life won’t be pulling you down trying to get out, they will be trying to pull you back down so you stay down.

When you grow you become a light, and some people don’t like when you shed light on them. You must free yourself of them. It is perhaps the hardest thing to do, but it must be done if you are to grow fully.

There are a couple types of friends you will see as you grow:

One type of friend may not grow with you, but they won’t hinder you in your progress either. They may even be a big support beam for you. One of my best friends is of this category, he is extremely supportive, but doesn’t appear to be in a rush to grow himself. This is perfectly fine, you have to accept them as they are, and they’ll respect you in return.

Second are the type of friends that do grow with you. My other best friend is of this variety. They want to grow right along side of you. A warning with this type of friend: don’t compete. It’s not a race, you can both grow at different speeds, and still be where you want to be.

Then you have the bad type of friend. They will make fun of you for getting better. Perhaps you aren’t doing certain things you used to, and this friend is offended by it. I don’t have any of these, nor do I let any strangers of this variety hang out with me for any length of time. I merely can’t put up with the negativity. DUMP THESE FRIENDS.

You’re friends aren’t perfect. You must respect them for who they are. Accept and love them for them. Hopefully you don’t have any bad apple friends. However, sometimes accepting them, means saying good-bye, so they can be the rotten apple they choose to be.

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One thought on “The Hardest Part Of Self Growth

  1. Nathan, I find this to be very well written with the exception of one thing. You point out the fact that you have to accept people for who they are and move on, I agree. However you state that you can’t deal with the “bad apples”, you only spend a short time with them, and state that peopleshould dump them. What if these bad apples are just developing at slower pace? They haven’t realize the benefits of self growth. What if what they need is someone like you to constantly show them a better path? Shouldn’t you first see if maybe they are lost or confused and this is why they act out the way they do. I am not saying lower yourself just send out the message and let them choose. Some might only need just a self esteem boost for them to get on track to self growth. Like for instance you mention in a earlier blog about a pregnant friend. You gave her great advice that she need to accept herself and not care what other people think. This is the simple act that i am talking about an act that might set her on the right track to self growing. Than again some people will not ever see the light but I feel you should try to pass on the knowledge of self growth and just maybe through this simple act you helped someone help themselves with some self growing. Some of worst apples have become some of the greatest apples.

    One last thing to ponder if there were no bad apples how would you know who the good ones are?

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